


Agents of Wedding Crashers

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Flirting, Humor, Hydra, Kissing, Romance, SHIELD, Sillyfic, Teasing, Undercover, wedding crashers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 20:37:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1756489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sillyfic where Skye and Coulson go undercover as wedding crashers so they can behave unprofessionally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Agents of Wedding Crashers

"You've got to be kidding," she said when he slid next to her into the driver's seat of the rental car.

"What?" he asked, putting on his sunglasses.

"Chest hair, really?" she asked.

Coulson looked down at his unbuttoned to there dress shirt and looked back up at her.

"I'm supposed to look like a jerk," he replied.

"Mission accomplished!" said Skye.

She shook her head and rested her arm on the open window.

"It's just a little chest hair," Coulson smirked.

"Ew," Skye said, looking back to him. "It's an advertisement," she frowned.

"For what exactly?" Coulson shook his head and started the car.

"Sex," she said, like he was an idiot. "Come and get some."

Coulson just started laughing as he pulled away from the hotel.

"With who?" he said, chuckling.

"Everyone," Skye said. "The whole world."

"You're really mad about this," he said. He couldn't stop laughing.

"And you think that's funny," she said, trying not to smile.

"I'm just enjoying learning new things about you," he sputtered.

"Well, don't expect me to pretend to be attracted to you," she muttered.

"That kills it, huh?" he asked.

"Just button a couple more," she said reaching for his shirt.

He elbowed her away, holding onto the steering wheel.

"No deal, we're wedding crashers. This is part of the look."

Skye sighed and leaned back into the seat.

"And if I may say," Coulson said. "You're looking very trashy. Well done."

 

****

They pulled up to the valet.

Skye had popped some gum into her mouth a block back and let the attendant open the door as she swung her bare feet off the dashboard and grabbed her heels, stepping out onto the pavement. She slid the heels on her feet and shimmied down the hem of her dress, blowing a huge bubble and popping it at the watching valet.

She rolled her eyes at him as he shut the door after her.

"Wow," said Coulson, handing her her purse. "You've outdone yourself and we just got here."

"Baby," she said, blinking at him. "The night is young. And so am I."

He looked over at the valet with his hand out.

"Thanks, man," he said, shaking it.

As they walked past to the hotel entrance, Coulson smacked Skye on the rear.

She jumped a little, looked back over to him with big eyes. He put his arm around her, smirked.

So, that's how it was going to be.

"Invite," asked the bodyguard at the door. One of several. Very large.

Skye smiled over at one of them, he didn't budge.

"Where did I put that?" Coulson said, searching his suit jacket.

"Right here," said Skye, smacking her gum. She handed the paper out of her purse to the bodyguard.

"You're not on the list," he said checking.

"We have an invite," she said. "Read it and weep."

"We're going to have to ask you to step aside," he said, motioning to the other two men.

From the security room, they watched the couple start to argue with one another.

"They're clean," said one of the guards, pulling up their records on the computer.

"We did have a warning about some of the bride's American relatives," said another.

"Consider us warned," the chief said.

"All clear," said the bodyguard, touching his earpiece. He was looking at Skye and Coulson, grinning from ear to ear.

Skye pushed her way past them and into the lobby with Coulson behind her.

"Why?" he asked, stopping her in the hotel lobby. "Why did you have to bring Cap into this?"

"I said that this was almost as awkward as that time.." Skye explained.

"That I asked you to dress up as Captain America?" he finished, appalled. "I would never!..."

She leaned over and patted him on the cheek. "But it's not you, remember?"

"Can we keep this civil?" he said, taking out the pack of cigarettes and putting one in his mouth.

"We're supposed to like each other," she said. "Right."

She grabbed the cigarrette out of his mouth and leaned in and kissed him.

"How's that?" she asked.

"Nice," he whispered, stunned. She popped the cigarette back in his mouth.

"Good, let's go."

 

****

"Omigosh, Aunt Freida!" shouted Skye across the room. She raised her cocktail glass in the air.

The older woman turned amidst the crowd and looked at her frowned.

Skye ran over to her as fast as she could in a dress that tight.

"How are you?" she began. "How are Barry and White?"

Freida's whole face went from shocked to softened.

"They just got out of surgery two days ago," Freida said.

"What happened?" asked Skye.

"It was an accident with the golf cart," she stared over horribly at the man with her.

"I'm so sorry," said Skye.

"Darling, how have you been?" Freida asked her, not knowing who she was at all, only that she cared about her pair of shith tzus.

"Oh, this is Reggie," she said, grabbing Coulson's arm and presenting him.

"Hi," he said, lifted his beer towards her.

"And you two met..." Freida began.

"At a karaoke night..."

"Doing amateur striptease..."

"Really?" asked Freida, suddenly very interested.

"I mean, *he* was doing the stripping."

"It was interpretive," said Coulson, explaining.

"Well," said Freida, impressed.

"Hey, there's my cousin," Skye said excitedly, "I haven't seen him in ages! So good to see you again Aunt Freida."

She ran off into the crowd.

"These people are so awesomely fake!" she said breathlessly to Coulson when he caught up with her.

"I could do this all night!"

"You're really good at it," he said.

"I did do a lot of research, you know," she said.

"I know, I'm impressed," Coulson said.

She leaned over and kissed him again. This time, a little more thoroughly.

"The bodyguards are watching us," she whispered.

"Oh," he said, looking back at her mouth.

"Amateur striptease was a little random. Just sayin'."

 

****

During the actual *wedding* wedding, Skye watched and remarked about what she thought about all of the decorations and the outfits, and pretended like she cared about all of that stuff.

And, she kept shoving Coulson's hand off of her leg when it went roving.

They did get shushed a lot and managed to completely either irritate and/or amuse all of their neighbors.

But when they were exchanging vows, Skye found it a little hard to be obnoxious and ruin that. Even if there were a bunch of evil people meeting and using their wedding as a cover to set up a contact between HYDRA and the World Security Council. Maybe they really loved each other and this meant something to them and whatever happened in the end, they would still have each other?

She turned to see if Coulson was watching them, and found he was watching her.

She waited to see if he would look away, but he didn't. She wondered if he was getting a bit lost. She'd kissed him, and it hadn't had any real meaning behind it, so, if this was his agent game, something was off.

He leaned over and kissed her. It was so soft and gentle and sweet. She knew that wasn't an act.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

"Pretending," he said, staring back at her.

Everyone stood, and so they might as well.

They all clapped as the bride and groom ran out of the room.

Skye managed to get back into character enough to bellow a "Hellz yeah!" as they ran past.

People started to file out. She felt Coulson's hand on the small of her back and moved it down to her rear, fake smiled back at him.

He shrugged apologetically.

 

****

Coulson was owning the dance floor.

Skye was amazed and didn't know where these moves came from, or who her boss was anymore.

She was having a lot of fun, and it was a problem, because, they were on a mission.

Coulson was all sweaty and hot and he didn't seem to give too much of a damn and was dancing with everyone.

Skye just laughed and shoved away some guy that tried to gyrate on her.

This whole thing was weird. The wedding was so traditional, formal. All the ceremony and the endless reading of the things you read for that. 

Now, it was like a weird dance club, and she'd been in those before, and it never ended well.

Cue the slow music. Saved by the slow dance. Ah.

Skye was so grateful.

"May I," asked Coulson, appearing in front of her.

He was still breathing heavy from dancing.

Skye bit her lower lip.

"For a moment, and then, maybe we can go somewhere private?"

"Right," he agreed.

She leaned into him.

"Sorry, I'm sweaty," he said.

"It's okay, I'm supposed to be drunk, anyway," she put her arms around his neck.

"Where have you been hiding all of those dance moves?"

****

"Okay," she said, holding onto his hand in front of the first door. "Here we go."

He pushed her against the door kissing her, turning the lock.

It opened behind them and it was empty. They closed the door after and Skye went and planted cameras in a few different spots.

"You're sure they're not monitoring this floor," she said. 

"No, they won't want any record of it," he replied.

"Good?"

They walked out of the room laughing and embracing and went to the next door.

This time, she held the door knob with her hand and pushed him away. She turned the knob and walked in, wiggling her finger after him.

She shut the door behind him.

"Great," he said. "No interference is good."

They placed the bugs and left.

"Third time's the charm," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at the door.

He turned the knob and cracked the door.

"What are you two doing up here?" demanded the security guard.

Coulson peered into the room. Oh. Shit.

"Uh, we were invited?" he said quickly.

"Mmm hmm," Skye replied, just going with it.

"Okay," said the guard, waiting.

"Honey," said Coulson, looking over at Skye, wide-eyed. "Get ready."

She smiled at him, smiled back at the guard.

 

****

"That was some Eyes Wide Shut..." she said, walking towards the exit with him.

"It was a ritual," he said bluntly.

"What the hell, I mean, I was kind of having fun up until that point!"

Coulson handed the valet ticket to the attendant.

"We completed the mission," he said.

"Yes, I guess," she said. "I'm NOT watching that video feed."

Coulson took the keys from the valet, opened her door for her.

He handed the kid a hundred dollar bill. 

"Keep the change."

"And don't do drugs!" Skye yelled back at him, as they pulled away.

Coulson looked over at her, "I'm sorry," he said.

"That made me get...parental. I mean, just, no."

He turned on the radio. The song wasn't helpful.

"Sometimes, you have to do unpleasant things undercover," he started.

"I get it," she said. "This was more than just unpleasant. There was something off about the whole night."

"Agreed," he replied.

"Unpleasant suggests," she said, "Being a little uncomfortable, as opposed to seeing Aunt Freida doing..."

Coulson held up a hand. "Just. Don't."

 

****

 

The rest of the drive back had been about making sure they were not followed to the hotel.

Skye stood in the hall in front of her hotel room. 

They didn't get to stay in hotels often. It felt like a little luxury.

"Well, thanks for that complete introduction to going undercover," she said cheerfully. "I will choose more wisely next time."

"Okay," Coulson said.

"That was not about you," she added. "All the parts with you were great."

Coulson sighed. 

"And I know that we kissed. A lot," she said, "And we should probably talk about that, because..."

Coulson had pushed her up against the door and was kissing her.

"Phil." 

She had been thinking it all night long.

"Whatever you ask," he promised. 

"Yes," she said.

"To what?"

"All."

He fumbled for the key to her door, finally got it opened, dragged her through.

They both were laughing.


End file.
